by Christopher James –
Maisie hated staying at Nan and Pop’s place because of the monster under the bed. The monster was green and hairy, and he had violet eyes and bright blue spots. His legs were pink and springy and his arms were on top of his head. He only came out when Maisie was alone, after everybody else had gone to bed.
Mom said to Maisie, “Before you go to sleep I’ll bop the monster on the head with a frying pan. That way he won’t bother you. Okay?”
She even brought a pan into the room and crawled under the bed with it, making a loud Boink sound like she was clobbering monsters. But Maisie wasn’t dumb, and she knew Mom was only pretending. The monster was invisible to most people, except for Maisie. Mom didn’t really believe he existed.
“There you are, poppet!” Mom said, crawling back from under the bed. “He’s out cold. I think we’ve seen the last of that horrible creature. Time for sleep, okey-dokey?”
“But Mom,” said Maisie, “you didn’t really boink him on the head. You just made the sound with your mouth. As soon as you go to sleep he’s going to come out and tickle me. I want to sleep in your bed. It’s safer that way.”
“He’s going to tickle you? I thought you liked being tickled.”
Maisie sighed. “I don’t like being tickled by monsters, okay?”
Mom made a big sad face and gave Maisie a hug. “Honey pumpkin,” she said, “I think you should sleep in your own bed. You’re a big girl now, and there’s not enough room for you to sleep with Daddy and me.”
“Then can I sleep with Nan and Pop?” asked Maisie.
“There’s not enough room for you to sleep with them either, tweetie-pie. Now go to sleep. Mommy’s only down the hall. If the monster does come back – and he won’t, because I scared him away good – but if he does, you know you only have to walk outside and knock on my door.”
Maisie complained with her face, but Mom wasn’t budging. Maisie would have to sleep in her own bed and that was that. Mom gave Maisie a kiss on the nose for being so cute and pulled the sheets up around her, then she squeezed her goodnight and left the room. She switched out the light and closed the door behind her.
The monster waited ten long minutes before he came out from under the bed.
“Maisie,” he growled. “Did you send in your Mommy to try and frighten me away?”
“No,” said Maisie. “Maybe you imagined it.” Maisie was scared, but she knew not to show her fear to the monster. Monsters ate fear for breakfast.
“You shouldn’t have sent your Mommy here. Now you’ve made me mad. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, Maisie. You won’t like me when I’m mad.”
“Well duh!” said Maisie. “I don’t like you even when you’re not mad.”
Oops! Maisie might’ve gone too far. The monster didn’t like it when she was cheeky to him. His pink springy legs flexed and sprung, and he stretched up until he was as big as the ceiling. His green, hairy body puffed out like a furry balloon, and his eyes went from violet to indigo to blue to green to yellow to orange and then to red, like fire. His bright blue spots burst with loud Pops and out squirted icky blue goo, all over the walls and all over Maisie’s bed.
Maisie slipped under the covers and crawled out through the end of the bed. She would go down the hall and knock on Mom’s door. The monster was definitely back.
“Where do you think you’re going?” asked the monster.
“Nowhere,” Maisie said. “I thought you might like a glass of water, so I was going to get you one from the kitchen.”
The monster was still big and gooey and puffed up like a blowfish, but his eyes went from red, down through the rainbow back to violet.
“Well, thank you very much,” he said. “I am a little thirsty. It’s quite dry underneath that bed. I would love a glass of water, cheers. And after I’ve drunk my water then I can tickle you! I’ll start by feather-tickling under your feet. Then I’ll crab-pinch your knees and legs. I’ll wriggle your belly into jelly. I’ll slime up your armpits. I’ll save your ears for last, because that’s my favorite place to tickle.”
“But first you want a glass of water, right?” Maisie asked.
“Yes, please,” said the monster.
He must be very stupid, thought Maisie, to think she would really go and get him a drink after he told her he wanted to tickle her. No! Maisie wasn’t going to the kitchen. She was going to knock on Mom’s door. Mom would boink the monster on the head with the frying pan for real this time and send him packing.
Maisie crept very carefully around the room to the door, keeping her back to the walls at all times. She didn’t want to take her eyes off the monster, and she didn’t want to accidentally bump into him in case that made him mad again.
Why did the monster want to tickle Maisie anyway? There were so many far more fun and exciting things in the world to do. Like eating strawberries and cheese and mint-choc-chip ice-cream with chocolate sauce and a cherry on top. Like playing with dolls or bouncing balls or Nan and Pop’s climbing frame, which was shaped like an airplane and had a swing that went almost as high as the moon. Or like riding a bicycle to China, flying a helicopter to Timbuktu, and pogo-stick-hopping up the Pyramids in Egypt. The monster could go anywhere and do anything, and he wanted to waste his time tickling little girls under their armpits. Crazy monster!
Maisie started walking towards Mom’s door, and then she stopped. What if Mom didn’t have the frying pan anymore? What if Maisie woke her up, and then Mom came out and tried to scare the monster off without anything to bash him on the head with? What if… what if Mom got the monster mad again, and the monster tickled both Maisie and Mom? No, that wouldn’t do at all. Maisie was going to have to deal with this monster all by herself.
“Oops!” she said loudly, in case he was listening. “I went the wrong way.”
She turned around and headed back, past the bedroom, down the stairs, and into the kitchen. It was very dark, but Maisie wasn’t scared. She was on a mission to get rid of monsters, and little girls who fought off scary pink and green and violet and blue monsters couldn’t be afraid of the dark. Inside the kitchen she could see by the light from the moon. She didn’t want to turn on the electric lights in case she woke up Mom and Dad or Nan and Pop.
The cupboards were too high for her to reach, so Maisie pushed a chair across the floor toward the kitchen counter. She climbed on the chair, and then stepped up onto the counter. From there she could open the cupboard doors. First she got a glass, and she jumped back down on to the chair and then the floor. She went to the tap and filled it with water. Just in case the monster came downstairs by surprise, she wanted to pretend she was getting him a drink, like she’d promised. When the glass was full she set it down on the table and went back to the chair. Up on the counter, she walked across to the cupboard with the frying pans.
“What are you doing?” said a growly voice. It was the monster! He’d come down the stairs looking for her.
“I thought I might make you some eggs,” Maisie said. “You can’t tickle my belly without having eggs first. Whoever heard of such a thing?”
“Hmm,” said the monster. “Thank you, that does sound nice.”
The monster took a seat at the table, waiting for his eggs. He reminded Maisie of Pop, waiting for Nan to cook his tea. This really was a stupid monster indeed, if he thought that Maisie was going to cook him some eggs.
Maisie found the biggest frying pan in the cupboard and pulled it out. She stepped carefully with it down on to the chair, and from the chair she climbed carefully down on to the floor. She walked, as quietly as she could, until she was standing directly behind the monster.
“Oh,” said the monster. “By the way, I like my eggs sunny side up.”
“Really?” said Maisie. “I like mine scrambled.”
And with that, she walloped the monster on the head with the frying pan as hard as she possibly could. She hit him so hard the pan sent shockwaves down her arms, and her whole body jiggled about like a Maisie-shaped pudding. It took a few seconds for her to stop shaking, and then the first thing she did was look for the monster. He was gone! He’d disappeared. Maisie had boinked him into nothingness.
Just to be sure, Maisie checked the kitchen. She looked under the sink, and in all of the cupboards, and behind the door and on top of the fridge. She looked inside the fridge. The monster wasn’t anywhere. He had most definitely disappeared. Maisie smiled to herself, drank the glass of water still sitting on the table, and headed back to bed.
The next day, Maisie was the last to wake up. In the end, Mom had to come and shake her out of bed.
“Come on, lazy head,” said Mom. “Nan’s about to make pancakes.”
Maisie yawned. She had slept so, so well! She remembered what had happened last night, and then she was wide awake in a second. She told Mom all about it, how the monster had come out from under the bed, how she had tricked him into letting her go to the kitchen, how she’d almost woken up Mom, but then thought better of it, how the monster had followed her downstairs, how she’d tricked him again, and finally how she’d clobbered him on his head with the biggest frying pan in the cupboard and he’d disappeared.
Mom smiled, but she was shaking her head. “Maisie, I told you last night. There’s no such thing as monsters. You just had a dream, that’s all.”
Maisie sighed. Mom would never learn.
“Come on. Let’s go get breakfast. I’ll let you add strawberries and maple syrup to your pancakes if you’re good.”
Maisie followed Mom downstairs. It hadn’t been a dream, Maisie knew that at least. It didn’t matter if Mom didn’t believe her. The important thing was the monster was definitely gone, and Maisie was the one who had gotten rid of him. Mom might not realize it, but Maisie was a hero.
In the kitchen, Nan was looking confused. “What happened to my frying pan?” she said. “It’s got a big dent in the bottom.”
Maisie just smiled proudly.
the end.
Question Time
- Why didn’t Maisie like staying at her grandparents’ house?
- What was the monster going to do to Maisie?
- How did Maisie trick the monster?
- What did Maisie’s Nan find in the kitchen?
