by Jayne Moraski –
“I have a surprise for you,” said Billy’s dad one Saturday morning.
“Ooh, what is it?” asked Billy. “Is it the pirate ship I wanted?”
Dad smiled. “Not quite . . . .” He pulled a big cage from behind the couch.
Billy stared. “What is it?”
“This is Earl. He is an African Grey Parrot,” said Dad.
Billy snorted, “A parrot is not a pirate ship.”
“Pirate ship captains have parrots, don’t they? And you can teach him to talk,” Dad said.
Billy furrowed his brow for a moment. Maybe he could teach the parrot all his favorite pirate words. Cool! Billy reached out to stroke the bird’s feathers. Earl nuzzled him back. “Say ‘walk the plank matey,’” ordered Billy. But Earl just sat there quietly. Billy tried again, “Say ‘Shiver me timbers.’” Earl just blinked. “Well, he’s still cool even if he needs practice. Wait ‘til Logan sees Earl,” Billy grinned.
“Speaking of Logan, it is time for you boys to clean your room,” said Mom.
“Awe Mom . . . can we clean it later?” asked Billy.
Mom sighed, “OK, we can clean after we eat lunch.”
“Awe Mom, I don’t want to eat. Are we having anything good?”
“Grilled cheese sandwiches,” she said.
“Awe Mom,” said Billy again as he sulked toward the table.
“Remember, after lunch we need to clean your room boys,” said Mom, when only the crusts were left on Billy’s plate.
“Awe Mom,” grouched Billy. He stomped down the hall. With each step he told his toes why he could not clean his room. “Logan helped make the mess, and um . . . I need to finish my homework.”
“OK Billy, you don’t have to have the last word. I will help you clean your room,” said Mom.
“Awe Mom,” said Billy. But then Billy had a thought. Maybe he could teach Earl to be a proper captain’s parrot while he cleaned. Billy tried to use as many pirate words as he could, so Earl was sure to hear. “Argh, I shall clean ye old room Mom.”
Then Earl quietly said “Awe Mom.” Billy’s eyes grew bigger than a cannon ball.
Mom turned her head away quickly. Was that a smile she was hiding?
Billy looked around his room once Mom left. It was way too clean for a pirate, he was sure of that. He took down the curtains to make some sails for his ship. “Mind the sails matey,” said Billy. “Hoist the colors Logan.” Logan scribbled a skull and crossbones on a pillowcase with black markers.
“Awe Mom,” squawked Earl.
“Not ‘awe mom’,” said Billy. “Say pirate words, ye old parrot.”
“Awe Mom,” said the bird loudly.
“Quiet,” whispered Billy. “Ye will get us in trouble.”
“Awe Mom,” squawked Earl even louder than before.
“The birdie is funny,” Logan beamed.
“Argh, pipe down. Remember, you are a captain’s bird, Earl,” pleaded Billy. Earl stopped squawking.
The curtains were tied to the bunk beds, the Jolly Roger hung from the ceiling fan and Mom’s jewelry box was the treasure. The pirate ship was complete.
“Prepare for battle,” said Billy.
Logan scrambled up the ladder and batted Billy on the head with his foam sword.
Billy swiped at Logan’s feet. Logan slipped backwards on the bunk bed, and got twisted in the covers. He rolled over backwards, and kept rolling right off the bed. Logan hung upside-down from the top bunk.
“Surrender,” cried Billy.
“Get me out of here!” yelped Logan.
“What is all the ruckus?” said Mom as she ran into the room. Mom saw Logan hanging by his feet. She turned to survey the pirate mess. She gasped, “Billy!”
Before Billy could speak, Earl squawked “Argh Mom!”
They all turned to stare at Earl.
“What do you have to say about this, Billy?” asked Mom. She freed Logan from the tangle of covers.
“At least he finally said Argh. That’s a pirate word,” said Billy.
“Young man,” said Mom squinting. She sighed. “Let’s clean this up before your father gets done mowing the lawn. Then I will think of a punishment for you.”
“You mean you’re not going to tell Dad about this?” asked Billy.
“I won’t say anything, if you promise to use nice words when you talk to us,” said Mom.
“It’s a deal,” said Billy.
Mom began to untie the curtains from the bedpost. “As your punishment, you boys will have to help me make dinner and clean the dishes every night this week.”
“OK Mom,” said Billy finally, but Earl squawked “Awe Mom” again.
“Well, I guess we’re both learning,” Billy shrugged.
Mom turned her head away. This time Billy was sure she was smiling. He smiled too.
Question Time
1. What did Billy’s dad surprise him with at the very beginning of the story?
2. What were the first words Earl the parrot learned?
3. Did Billy actually clean his room?
4. Did Earl learn any pirate words?
