by Alicia McHugh –
“I can’t sing, I can’t dance, and I don’t think I can twirl a baton.” Jonah plopped onto the bus seat next to his best friend, Thomas. “What else is there?” Jonah complained.
“What are you talking about?” Thomas asked.
“My class talent show. I have no talent,” Jonah explained. “You’re lucky you have Mr. Hill and you don’t need a talent. You just have to write a poem or something, right?”
“Well, we have…,” Thomas started.
“I wish I had Mr. Hill. I have to turn in a talent by Monday. What am I going to do?” Jonah asked. Thomas stared at him. “Hello, Thomas. I said ‘what am I going to do?’” Jonah asked again.
“Oh sorry, I wasn’t sure if you were finished,” Thomas said, smiling.
Jonah was by far the most talkative boy in the third grade. School legend had it that if Jonah went more than a minute without talking, his cheeks would puff out and steam would whistle out of his ears like a tea kettle. Last year, Jonah had been sent to the “quiet zone” so often that his classmates started calling it the “Jonah zone.”
“Dean, Mark and Seamus have a band. I wish I played an instrument,” Jonah continued. “Francis is playing the accordion.”
“What’s an accordion?” Thomas asked.
“No clue,” shrugged Jonah. “I’m not sure what Rhoda and Rosemary are doing, or Henry, or….”
“Jonah, quit talking and move,” Tim the bus driver bellowed over his shoulder. “It’s your stop.”
Jonah scrambled out of his seat, pounced down the aisle and out the bus doors. From the window, Thomas watched Jonah walk away still talking to himself.
“Mom, he’s driving me crazy. He’s been following me around all afternoon going on about some silly talent show,” Lucy, Jonah’s sister, complained, taking her seat at the dinner table. “I locked him out of my room but he just talked through the door.”
“Clog dancing, no, juggling, no, yodeling, no, target spitting, well?” Jonah looked at his mother who was shaking her head. “No, I guess.”
“Just think about what you’re good at Jonah and do that,” his mother said, scooping peas onto his plate.
“You’re good at drawing,” his father added hopefully.
Jonah poked at the peas with his fork. “I don’t think anybody wants to watch me draw.”
“You’re an excellent reader,” suggested his mother.
“Seriously?” Jonah groaned as peas fell from his mouth.
“Gross. You could talk while you eat,” Lucy said, rolling her eyes. “That’s always a special treat.”
“Sorry,” Jonah mumbled.
“I know it’s hard for you, but please remember not to talk with your mouth full,” his mother said patiently.
“You sure do have the gift of gab Jonah,” his father stated.
“The gift of what?” asked Jonah.
“Gab – talking,” his father explained.
“Talking? All taking ever gets me is trouble. How can that be a gift?” Jonah asked.
“Well, your great uncle Finn had the gift of gab too. He became a famous baseball announcer and talked all day long. But not with his mouth full, of course,” his father said with a nod at Jonah’s mother.
“Uncle Finn,” Jonah said to himself. A smile spread across his face. He banged his fist on the table, sending peas popping into the air. “I know what I’m going to do!”
First thing Monday morning, Jonah marched up to his teacher Mrs. Casey and handed her a slip of paper. “My talent,” he said.
Mrs. Casey opened the paper. “Yes, indeed,” she chuckled.
“Let’s give a round of applause for Francis and her accordion,” said Principal Lee, the talent show announcer. “And next up, Jonah, whose talent, well, let’s just say it speaks for itself.”
Jonah rolled up to the microphone on his scooter. “Hi, my name is Jonah and I can talk non-stop while doing just about anything.” The crowd stared at him.
He cleared his throat and began circling the stage. “The Presidents of the United States in reverse alphabetical order are: Wilson, Washington, Van Buren, Tyler.” Jonah scooted faster. “Johnson, Jefferson, Jackson, Hoover,” finishing with, “Buchanan, Arthur, and Adams twice.” He dropped his scooter and grabbed a basketball.
Dribbling, he rapidly fired off a list of his favorite sports, “Basketball is cool, but I really love hockey, badminton, volleyball, rock climbing, pole vaulting, Tai Kwan Do, bobsledding, kayaking, kickboxing, golf…,” The crowd clapped along. “…but I can’t do yoga.”
Jonah ran backwards while describing his summer vacation, pogo-sticked through the plot of his favorite book, and offered a cart-wheeling argument for which superheroes had the coolest powers. By the time he rattled off the school lunch menu while standing on his hands, the crowd was on their feet.
“Hot dogs, french fries, and chilled pears.” He dropped back down, let out a deep breath and bowed. The crowd erupted with applause.
“The first place trophy goes to Rhoda and Rosemary the clog dancing twins,” announced Principal Lee. “And the special Judges’ Award for the most entertaining talent goes to Jonah the non-stop talker!”
Jonah reached the podium to collect his trophy. He looked out and saw his teachers, friends and family beaming at him proudly. Principal Lee handed him the microphone. Jonah brought it to his mouth and whispered, “I really don’t know what to say.”
the end.
Question Time
1. How much did Jonah talk?
2. What did Jonah’s great uncle Finn do with his gift of gab?
3. What did Jonah talk about when he got the microphone?
